Archive for December, 2010

Question : Okay how can i make my scary story more interesting and descriptive?
well we have to write this essay about the scariest story you have ever heard, and you can make it up. but i need a looootttttt of description towards the end by the killing part to make it scary and interesting!! can someone please help me make it scarier. also we can put who ever helped you on the story and if you really helped me ill put your name on the essay and give you credit!!! so this is what i have soo far!!

For Derrick, being scared was his favorite thing ever! Derrick was 14 years old, had brown hair and blue eyes! He had an athletic type of body. He loved loved loved scary movies and scary books. Most of all he loved Halloween. It was the time of year when he could go to the haunted houses people put up and be scared! He was walking home from school. The sun was out, the leaves the color of bananas, carrots, and tomatoes. It was a very beautiful day in the month of October. It was Halloween; kids would soon come out for trick- or –treating. Suddenly it became colder. The wind blew harder and the leaves rattled back and forth. The sky grew grey. Derrick found himself walking home alone, 2 blocks before his house. Derrick turned, the streets were empty, and no one was outside. Suddenly a black car drove by and a very tall man with a white complexion peered out through the window. The man threw an orange flyer at him, seeming to not care where the flyer landed. He highered the window and the car pulled away.
Derrick starred blankly at the orange flyer. It read:
HAUNTED HOUSE!!
Have the scare of your life!!
When: Today, October 31
Where: Beverly Hills Drive
At: 7:00 pm
30 SERIAL KILLER RELEASED JUST FOR
THIS EVENT!!!
COME! OR ARE YOU TOO CHICKEN?
Derrick’s eyes lit up! His eyes widened and a big grin spread over his face, like a smudged painting.
“I have to go to this!!” he assured himself despite the weirdness.
Later that day, with the permission of his mother, Derrick walked excitedly all the way to Beverly Hills Drive. He approached the big tent that had a big red sign at the top. It read, HAUNTED HOUSE. It was dark red dripping font. It seemed like the line would never end. One by one, the victims that seemed so innocent in the eyes of the man in the black car, went in. occasionally Derrick heard dreadful screams as if someone was being murdered. The more screams Derrick heard the more excited he became. He knew that he would realty be scared! Derrick noticed that as people went into the mysterious tent, no one came out!
“Maybe the exit is back there somewhere!” Derrick assured himself for the second time that evening! Soon enough, it was his turn! The Michael Myer’s song filled the air. Blinking red lights and smudged “blood” greeted him at the entrance.
“Enter at your own risk.” A creepy deep voice said stated. Derrick entered. It was pitch black. Derrick heard a piercing scream and then an evil laugh cackling in the distance. He fumbled in the dark, entering the second tent. There must have been at least 30 tents connected together. As the light grew to a dim light, he could see about 50 bloody bodies. Derrick’s neck and lower back tightened. He put his hand on the side of the plastic tent, trying to calm himself from what he had just seen. He fell something wet on his hand, which was red! He smelled it, the red liquid smelled like blood! Derrick panicked, looking for an exit. There was no exit!! He saw moving shadows. 5 men walked toward him. He recognized one of the faces; it was Tim Johnson! He was a serial killer on the loose. Tim’s hands were all bloody and held a bloody knife. He began to run. But before he could move, he felt a cold hand on his neck and and felt breathing down his back. He slowly turned, seeing another face of a previously caught serial killer, his name was Edward Pillar. Blood on his clothes, a knife in his hand Edward starred at him with an evil face, with a big grin on his face. The bloody silver knife glistened with the moonlight that was seeping through the tent. Edward pounced on him, stabbing him to death, creating a puddle of blood around him. The serial killers were never seen neither were they caught. They move from state to state still looking for hopeless victims setting up their tents to commit murder!
thanks soo much for the people that have wrote i really appreciate it!!
alsoo like how can i put it scarier and in which parts?
exit realty signs

Best answer:

Answer by Callie fay
Use more educated words. i’m not saying this in a mean way, just suggesting using words that describe fear, anger, death, etc. You could use the word eerie to describe the surrounings, or surreptitious to describe weither a character is being sneaky. Also, if you want to instill a liitle fear or creepiness, describe the look in killer’s eyes, was it malevolent, malicious. Is the sky especially dark, are there a lot of clouds, are there any flickering lights? Anything like this will help the mood of your story. What is the killer’s skin tone, pale, eyes bloodshot, are they drunk, grinning wickedly? Are their hands shaking, balled into fists, curling or uncurling, tightening around the knife. etc. you get the point. I hope this helped!