Question : My Hard Life As A Teen, All Support Wanted Please :( ?
Hey guys, i’m AHK! I am a 16 year old boy living in Toronto, Ontario and not to be snobby, but I do feel I live the hardest life out of the people I know. I hate my school, I have very little people that I actually consider “friends” there. I go to a private school where there are a lot of snobs, and I just never really wanted to open myself up to those kinds of people. Thank god I have a million friends outside of school, because I am very dependant on them. My mom is a great lady, very upbeat, jolly and most of all loving, however she became sick with stage 4 colon cancer when I was 12. The cancer has spread to various places in her body and it’s only a matter of time before she leaves this earth. I have my dad as well, I have never had so much hatred for a person in my life. When I was younger, he abused me, still verbally does and we do not have a relationship (even though I am living under the same roof as him). I have a little brother, he thinks he’s “better than me” at all aspects of life, but he’s harmless, I guess… Most of my family and I do not get along because we do not see eye to eye. They think I am an inconsiderate brat, and by no means do I feel comfortable with any of them. Recently I opened up to my mother about transferring schools, but she basically told me i’m a rude boy who needs to change my personality… How could she say that? I have sat by her bed, spent various 24 hour days taking care of her and I honestly do think I am a very good son, and most of all, good person. My friends say I have the biggest heart, and I do not deserve any of this.. I have the best of friends in the world. I care about and depend on them more than my own family and sometimes I do feel myself getting to attached. My two best friends are both older than me, they are not necessarily the people I see or talk to the most, but we definitely have a relationship where we can trust each other with everything. Let’s call them Cash and Lemon. Cash is like my big brother, I know I can talk to him about anything, we snap at each other a lot, but we’ll always remain the best of friends. Lemon is like my big sister, she is a sweetheart and there is no other person like her. Cash and Lemon are the people I depend on most in my life. Sometimes I feel guilty because I feel like I annoy them, especially Cash. However, the love will always be there. I have had strong feelings for this girl since January, let’s call her salt. Salt is in the group of 13 of the very good friends my age. She, and this group of 13 of us have been extremely close since the age of nine. I see them every weekend, and we spent the entire summer, away from our parents for 9 years now and we are next summer as well. We have grown up together, and we will all be good friends forever. I have many friends outside of these 15 people, but these 7 girls and 8 guys are the people who give me reason to live. Anyways, salt did not have the same feelings towards me (I liked her since January, I told her at the end of August because I fear rejection in serious relationships)… I asked for some time away for a bit (we were very close) and she agreed, but did not take it well. Everyday she continued to message me, though I would reply, I would act sort of dry because I was hurting (still hurt, still cry constantly). She took this as if “I did not want to be friends” and basically threw everything in my face. I hate her so much, we have had many fights and it really has put a strain on our group of friends, yet I am still in love with her. Last weekend I came home from a party, and just wanted to die (still do), and I cut my wrist, it’s beginning to scar. I only told Cash and Lemon about this, they almost tried to take me to a psychologist, they were really close… It affected them, it scared them and it still does. I feel guilty because these two people are the best people in the world, and I hate to see them in pain, especially because of me. I eat myself up about it everyday, and it hurts. We agreed that if I ever did cut again, i would be taken to see a psychologist. Lemon and Cash don’t even like each other, however, in a way I feel as though I connect them. Cash and Lemon both tell me the speak about me on the phone… They worry… It is the hardest thing for me to know that they’re worrying about me, but at the same time, I have never felt loved in my life. Basically, that’s my life. It sucks and I do not know what to do.
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Best answer:

Answer by .ApS.
i want to listen to your story, but please, paragraphs.