Consumption and Real Estate
i want to get rid of stepdaughter room?
Question : i want to get rid of stepdaughter room?
my husbands daughter who is 8 doesnt live with us and rarley visits and when she does she even more rarley stay the night. we have a 2 bedroom home and she has a fully furnished room here that i feel is a very big waste of space since she doesnt really use it since she doesnt live with us, also we have an at home business and seriously need an office space beacuse now our bussiness stuff is just floating around everywhere so i want to convert this room thats just sitting there into an office for us..my husband had this room for her since before we met and i didnt really care before but now its really bothering me .. he refuses to make this change and keeps saying im making him choose between her and me which i feel is absurd. am i being out of line? this is OUR home and its such a waste of a room we cant even use it for what we need it for its not even being used at all right now and he seems to want it that way
she has only been here about 3 times in the last 8 months and only for a few hours each time.. she has never lived here.. i dont see how anyone can justify keeping the room this way its ridiculous and no reason to feel guilty about it. there has to be a way we can effectively deal with the situation
furnished office space
Best answer:
Answer by the guy who was once a spy
your the kind of mom when kids go to school the kid talks crap about them because they want to get rid of their room- kids would find that very offensive
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#2 written by Ben T 1 year ago
As you already stated, your husband had the room set up for his daughter before you met. I think if you continue to press the issue, it’ll create some serious problems in your marriage. Ask your husband to talk to his daughter and ask her if part of the room can be used for storage. It is, after all her room. If she says no, accept it and focus on reorganizing your stuff.
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#3 written by Tamara 1 year ago
I live at home with my parents because I am attending college full time… and I have 3 step brothers and sisters (1 sister) and then my half sister… only my half sister and I live here at the house with my oldest step brother… and I can definitely say that it is NOT wrong to want to change it to an office…. it would be alot more useful.. as it is at our house… they have 1 room that all three of them have to share while my sister and I get our own rooms cause they only come over for 4 days a month… so I think you are totally right… but just give your husband a while… he might eventually come around = )
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#4 written by Tatem 1 year ago
Okay are you ready, your out of line. Try and put yourself in her place, the one thing kids want is what all their friends have a Mommy and Daddy under one roof. she doesn’t have that. Now her Daddy has a new wife. she feels replaced they don’t say Daddy’s little girl for nothing.
She needs to have a room that is hers, a safe place, someplace that is waiting for her. She was there before you. If you do this it will drive a wedge between you and her and you and your husband. You won’t fully understand this until you have children of your own. (trust me). It sounds like your in a period of time of transition, you may end up needing even more space than just a room. It sounds like you all will need a 3 bedroom or a loft area or can you convert the garage into an office or add a room.This is the problem with blended families so you need to get use to not causing waves when it comes to the children, because that is a loosing battle. -
#5 written by om shanti 1 year ago
my friend…….its not the room its the daughter u seem to want to get rid of and if its not so you will appear so and u in a process of getting rid of the room you will be got rid off from your husbands life………choose is the room or your married life…….and see it with this angle friend…….if she was ur daughter then u would have all things clear………..if i were you i would not let this room go waste i would fill it up with the 8 year old daughter instead……………..for god sake she all 8 and she does not need that room she needs a mother inside you………..wake up and hug ur daughter before its too late…………Love her and you will love the room more instead……….
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#6 written by Becky F 1 year ago
If you want to be known as the wicked step mother, keep pushing it. Let’s turn the situation around. What if it were YOUR daughter (or son) and HE wanted to get rid of the room that you always had for them. I know where you are coming from…but I’ll tell you, you make him change that room, before he’s ready (it has to be his idea) and he will hold it against you for a very long time. What about buying a bigger house? What about building an outdoor shed for your office? Ask him what would be a better solution, since the one you suggested won’t work. Put it back on him. Tell him “something” is going to have to be done, what do you suggest? Ask him to turn the situation around, how would HE feel if he were you. But you have to do it nicely and not angrily. Pick you time when you can causually bring it up. If he starts getting pissed, back off. Be sure and let him know you are not trying to alienate her, but of course she would feel that way if you took her bedroom away, she’s 8. I left home when I was 16 because of my step-mother and 2 weeks later my bedroom was turned into a storage area. Yeah, I didn’t get over that one either. See if you can’t find another solution to your problem with out taking her room away. I swear, it will be better for all of you in the long run.
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#7 written by Amanda G 1 year ago
how cold could you get? She’s only 8. And no wonder she doesn’t want to stay the night. I sound bitchy but you’re pushing her out by getting rid of her ROOM! I’d freak if my mom did something with my room when I go off to college. What would happen if something went horribly wrong and she had to stay with you guys? She’d feel like s stranger in her old home.
Build an addition or something.
And yes you are making him choose. -
#8 written by pixieandmacy 1 year ago
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#9 written by bowchakawawa 1 year ago
Doesn’t matter if it’s a waste of space it should still stay. Think of the little girl and her reaction when she comes for a visit and her room is gone. It would feel like he is moving on without her.
It also must be important for him for him to not want it removed. It probably makes him feel closer to his little girl. - Comment Feed for this Post
Leave the room alone. That’s his child’s room (regardless of how often she does or doesn’t use it) and was his child’s room before he married you. You wanting to get rid of it because ‘now it’s your home too’ will definitely across as trying to squeeze the child out of his life…and hubby has made it clear to you that he sees that way also, so why are you persisting with it? That should have been the end of it right there.
EDITED TO ADD THIS AFTER YOU ADDED ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:
Anyone (but you, because apparently you lack any empathy/concern for this child’s feelings or your husband’s feelings) can justify keeping the room as it is because *it’s her room and it always has been*. If I were hubby and you persisted in this, I’d be getting rid of YOU. You need to grow up and realize that the world does not revolve around your wants, and when you marry a man with children you have to make concessions for those children. If you’re incapable of that, then you don’t need to be with a man who has a child.